I am lost

“So when you run, make sure you run to something and not away from…”

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the difference between my leaving and my going.

My biggest heartache is in leaving. The fact that all of the lives around me are also continuing the grow and change–with or without me. (Obviously.)

To a certain extent, I am angry at myself for being someone who needs this sabbatical: Why can’t I stay put? What is my aversion to planting roots somewhere I love, with people I love? Where did I go wrong where part of me is missing, and why does nobody else feel this way? What happens when I get back, and will I ever be able to catch up?

Going will be so much easier than leaving.


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