twenty-six

If I knew last year where I would end up this year, I wouldn’t change anything.

My yearly reflection, I find that the most monumental change I underwent this year is that now I believe it on the basis of myself instead of marked with a boy-shaped asterisk.

I wonder if this contentment, this lack of regret, is enough. I wonder if it will stay as I transition back into the workforce, back into routine and responsibility.

And I wonder about the English boy. After a messy week, we have reneged on our breakup—for better or for worse—and I wonder: if he is not an asterisk, if I’ve outgrown the need to have someone to complete me, how do you decide when a relationship is enough?

But while I am worrying too much, for the first time in a long time, I also feel like I have a pretty good grasp on this upcoming year.

I don’t know exactly where to go from here, but I have high hopes for twenty-six.

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One thought on “twenty-six

  1. brainmusick

    This is fantastic and I can relate. I think once you get to the point where you realise that you are enough, it’s both scary because you don’t have that constant sense of things being the “right” way or not… and also very freeing because YOU can decide what you want! 🙂 Good luck for 26!

    Reply

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